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Chronicles of Nowhereland

The Life and Times of a Witty Southern Belle in Small Town, USA.

Short and Sweet: Tasteful Advice

We all know that drinking orange juice after one has brushed their teeth, can be death to the taste buds, however, milk after brushing just may be an ally. I took a big swig after a vigorous session with Crest, and ahh refreshing! It had the vibe of a peppermint patty. Share this wisdom my dear friends! Must must let the world know! Lol Just a bit of silliness to keep things interesting.  Like Waylon Jennings said, “I’ve always been crazy, but it’s helped me from going insane.” Indeed, Waylon. Indeed.

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The Death of Laughter

In the adult world, we have bills, kids, jobs, etc. We have so many responsibilities that we are forgetting one simple thing, to laugh. I notice this a lot when I am out places. No one laughs. Maybe a fake forced laugh, but no more genuine laughs that make you gasp for air and your stomach hurt. Why is this? What happened to laughter? I am always laughing. Not because I don’t have any worries or responsibilities, I have plenty. But, for that one split second of laughing, I forget it all. Laughter truly is the best medicine. I love making people laugh. I know whatever they are going through, that while laughing, they will forget their worries and let go. As someone who suffers from not one, but two extremely painful chronic illnesses, I figured I could lay down and feel sorry for myself, or I could get out and do and laugh. Some people say I’m silly or need to grow up. But, my theory is if being silly and laughing helps me forget my pain and troubles, then maybe it could help others. So, my advice to those who say, “you need to grow up and stop being so silly,” is this, lighten up and learn to laugh. Life is nothing without laughter and happiness.

Southern Hospifoulity

Most everyone is familiar with the term, “southern hospitality,” but what exactly is southern hospitality? Wikipedia defines it as “a phrase used in American English to describe the stereotype of residents of the Southern United States as particularly warm, sweet, and welcoming to the visitors to their homes, or to the South in general.” If you have ever visited the Southern United States, you may have found this definition to be quite accurate. If you’re from the South, you know the true side of southern hospitality. I will say, majority of southerners truly are hospitable. They are proud of their southern heritage and happy to share it with the many out of town visitors. These people are the real southerners. The salt of the earth. If you need directions or have car trouble, etc, they are more than willing to lend a hand. They don’t even expect payment or anything in return. I am certain that the saying, “he’d give ya the shirt off his back,” was started in Mississippi. Now, on to the “hospifoulity” of the South. As always, there are a few bad apples that always spoil the bunch. The nosey, ole bitties that what to know when, where, what and who. They disguise their nosy prying with hospitality, when they really just want to get enough info about you to run back to the flock and gossip. These are the bad eggs that foul up are good natured, true southern hospitality. How do you distinguish between the two you ask? Well, you don’t. They look and act the same as us true southerners, to your face that is. If it was up to me, I’d have a list at the visitor’s center on who to avoid. So, next time you’re visiting the Southern United States, and a local is quizzing you, heed my advice, and ask yourself, hospifoulity? Or hospitality?

The Writer Inside You

“Everybody walks past a thousand story ideas every day. The good writers are the ones who see five or six of them. Most people don’t see any.” -Orson Scott Card

The Weakest Link

So, I go to our local Little Caesar’s for a quick “hot and ready” dinner. My husband was on his way home from work, and I thought this would be the best dinner choice. No dishes, no cleanup, just a quick pizza and then some cuddle time with my honey. Boy was I wrong. I get there to a moderate amount of people, nothing I would call crowded and place my order of a large meat lovers pizza and BBQ wings. The cashier hands me my ticket and says it will be right out. Thirty-five minutes later, the only thing hot and ready to go was me! The cashier told me the hot wings take 10 minutes to cook…bro, I’ve been waiting almost 40. Finally, my order comes out, and cashier boy refunds me for my wait. My point is this, every time our town gets a chain restaurant, it seems to fizzle out within a matter of months. Being such a small town, we were excited to even get a Little Caesar’s and a Domino’s. I am basing my comparison on chain restaurants I’ve visited in various cities. They seriously have their shit together. Unlike our small town holes in the wall. What makes chain restaurants in the city so different from the ones in small towns? Why do I care you ask? I live in the number one state for obesity. If my fat ass wants a pizza, I at least want it hot and ready and served with a smile.

Extra, Extra Read All About It! 

Ahhh small towns. Where the beer is cold and everyone calls you friend, well, at least to your face. I’ve been living in small towns my entire life. So, I feel like I’m a pretty good judge of character  when it comes to weighing the pros and cons of small town living.   In this blog, not only will I be chronicling small town life, but also reviewing places labeled “must see” by my small town counterparts. This should be pretty exciting, and I plan on digging up some small town dirt as  well. Stay tuned!

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