*Note: This is a just for fun, meant to be funny post. Foul language is throughout. If easily offended, please proceed elsewhere. 

1.) The Redneck

The redneck is a breed of his own. He has an obsession with his piece of shit truck, which sits on tires that are ten sizes too big and jacked up to Jesus. This truck usually dawns the confederate flag and some sort of hunting reference about killing anything that walks. He was furious over the court’s recent desk ion to change the state flag, and blames it all on the nigger loving liberals. He thinks his woman should cook, clean and bear his children, preferably a son, and otherwise keep her damn mouth shut. Hurry ladies before they’re all gone!

2.) The Wannabe

The wannabe is most commonly referred to, by all races, as the wigger. By definition, a wigger is a white boy who thinks he is black. He wears anything endorsed by P. Daddy and the fiber glass on his shitty Mazda shakes to the beats of Yo Gotti. Careful ladies, you just might get hypnotized by his jailhouse tattoos. Does not play well with the redneck.

3.) The Baseball Player

Flat bill hats and jersey shirts are a must for this ball playing beaux. He may play other sports, but baseball is his obsession. His life goal is to get a scholarship, play college ball, major in physical education, and spend the rest of his life as a little league coach. So far so good, huh ladies. Well, just wait until baseball season. You will have to take a backseat on the bleachers.

4.) The Lover

The loved cries a lot and is very sensitive. He falls in love quite easily, but will make you feel exceptionally special. That is until you realize he’s basically fell in love with every girl that has ever given him the least bit of attention. He will become clingy and too available, and you will have to dump his whiny ass. After which he will cry, curse you, and accuse you of ruining his life. But don’t you worry about him. He will be loved up with another chick in no time.

5.) The Gym Freak/Muscle Maniac

Bulging veins and a Hulk Hogan tan are this rock solid Romeo’s trademark. One word, protein. Expect to be helping with a lot of pre-planned meals with this one. Not to mention the jacked up mood swings. But hey, at least you two can go get spray tans together.

6.) The Frat Boy

Daddy’s money sure does buy a lot of friends and much more for this little prick. He parties like hell the first year at university, screws up royally, and daddy makes him go to community college for a year to straighten him out. He is a spoiled self righteous little punk and will not hide it the least bit. In his eyes he is a golden god. Although he hates the redneck, he is just a redneck in a sear sucker suit with daddy’s money.

7.) The Momma’s Boy

Ugh, the dreaded Momma’s boy. Loving your mother is one thing, but being a sissy ass Momma’s boy is another. He is a cuter version of the lover, but on the tit. This poor boy has been coddled and coochie cooed until his momma has turned him into a first class sissy. Good luck popping Momma’s titty out of his mouth long enough to get to first base.

8.) The Southern Gentleman

Ahhh always save the best for last. The southern gentleman is a true gem. He is real husband material. He has wonderful manners and will always refer to you as “ma’am.” You will fall in love with his southern charm immediately. Just make sure that he returns the favor.